Hi from New Zealand ! "An introduction"

Posted June 5th, 2007 by Emile Grey

What a great idea and challenge this will be for people. My name is Emile Grey and I am a 42 year old New Zeeland Born Samoan male. I am not in prison now and have been on the outer conformed for 15 years and still battling with the need to tell my story and put across the complexities and misunderstandings I had been presented.

People have always said that I should write a book...initially I questioned the whole idea, Why? And for what purpose would it serve? The biggest turn off was the fact that writing any book would not to put food on the table! As the years went on and I became more and more part of societies norms and accepted as a "normal" member of the community I realised how much of my "going straight" and "being straight" presented more questions then answers. It was from this I started thinking about writing about how someone with a criminal past like me could be a successful and contributing member of the community. How someone like me with a maximum security classification is now trusted and accepted by other members of the community? Questions that still frustrate and pain me on a daily basis!

The simple and frustrating truth is that there are only a handful of people who know that I was once an institutionalised inmate. Starting at Boys home through to Adult prisons. I did have the unusual experience as a New Zealander to have been sent to the San Francisco California to live with an uncle. My mother had had enough of me. While in San Francisco I got on the wrong side of the track and ended up in the Youth Guidance Centre.....twice. The second time I was sent back to New Zealand only to end up in Samoa...again on the wrong side of the tracks, totally unaware and in denial that my life was shit.

Where do I start writing? What should I focus on? Who am I writing for? Do I need to share my past? And does anyone really care? I continue to ponder, unable to start. Do I start at the death of my Father when I was 7 or when I was expelled from school to only start my first job at 12? Should I focus on my experiences inside or perceptions on how society looks at criminals? Who knows?

It now begins and like where I am today was never planned and my opast sees like a dream of mixed feelings, I must start!................................

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